a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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