i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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