Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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