walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
