I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
