Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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