eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize