Do you still have your period?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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