so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
