i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
