All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
