girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
