Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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