if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize