Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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