And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
