It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
