You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
