I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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