I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
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If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
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Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize