i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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