Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
