He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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