I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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