So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
