My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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