party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
