Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
