So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
