...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
