I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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