you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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