I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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