So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
