Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
