no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
