He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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