The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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