Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
