Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
