So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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