If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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