You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
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On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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