We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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