Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
