So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
