This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
