she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
