dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize