Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think i have two assholes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
