My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
