bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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