I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
