Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
