If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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